


Hey Look Ma, I Made It

by Jimaine



Series: Panic At The Disco [2]
Category: Magic the Gathering
Genre: Canon Compliant, Catharsis, Engaged, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-14
Updated: 2019-10-14
Packaged: 2020-12-16 12:17:04
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,893
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21036119
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jimaine/pseuds/Jimaine
Summary: Tomik’s attempt to find the perfect wedding gift for Ral leaves both of them facing the shadows of Ral’s past. As with all things, they do it together.





	Hey Look Ma, I Made It

**Author's Note:**

> And here's part two! Another shout out to Wrexie you are SO amazing! Also both my betas EveryDayBella and Thren! You two make everything more fun!

"Tomik… where are we going?" Ral asked, more than a little bemused as Tomik led him by the hand along a darkly polished hallway. When Tomik had said he had something he had to show Ral, he hadn’t expected to find the two of them winding through the very heart of Orzhova. A place Ral was certain he wasn't allowed to be.

"Do you remember when I asked you what you wanted as a wedding present?" Tomik replied; definitely not the kind of answer Ral had been expecting.

Ral gave him an analytical look, raising an eyebrow. "...Yes?" he said slowly.

"You told me that you had everything you had ever dreamed of already,” Tomik answered, and though there was a fondness in his voice, Ral knew him too well to miss the faint line of tension in his shoulders. “You said that you were the Guildmaster of the Izzet, that we were getting married, that we’d saved the world together. You said you had everything already, and that the only regret you had in the whole thing was that your mother couldn’t be here to see how incredible your life had turned out, and so I shouldn’t worry about trying to get you anything." Tomik led Ral around another corner towards an ornate door, and tilted his head thoughtfully. “...and then as I recall you made a rather flippant comment and stole my dumpling."

Ral chuckled, but shook his head. "Yes, I remember, but what does that have to do with this?" He looked around the ridiculous hallway again. "Like I said then, I don't need a wedding present, I just need you. Whatever you've got planned, I'm-"

"The thing is…" Tomik started slowly, cutting him off. There was almost a hint of caution in his voice, "turns out I can give you that."

Ral gave him a blank stare. "Give me what?"

It was then that Tomik pushed open the large, gold encrusted door in front of them to reveal a dark room that all but hummed with magical energy. He led a stunned Ral deeper into the inky darkness, where an ancient woman in Orzhov robes sat imperiously in the middle of a softly glowing circle.

"Wait,” Ral said stopping, his mouth going suddenly dry, “Tomik, is this…?"

"A seance," Tomik nodded. "We do more than just bring people back for their afterlife; the Orzhov work with ghosts for all kinds for all reasons.” He shifted where he stood. “And, yes, typically we just summon random spirits for whatever we may need them for, but we can also summon _specific_ spirits. It’s only for a short time, and it requires significant preparation—just procuring the resources necessary to do it took a lot of time—and, well, naturally an appropriate donation to the church, and, of course, being that you're Izzet special permissions had to be filed and granted along with more donations and…" Tomik cut himself off, realizing he was rambling. With a sheepish look he turned back to Ral and pushed his glasses up. "...I thought this was worth it." He gave a sort of shy smile, the kind Ral remembered from the beginning of their relationship, when Tomik hadn't been sure how Ral would react to something.

Swallowing hard Ral felt a catch in his throat, then he nodded, not quite able to meet Tomik's eyes as the weight of what he was being offered settled on him fully. "Thank you," he finally managed to force out quietly.

Tomik tugged on his hand again, taking him closer to the glowing circle and the old woman. He didn't push Ral for more, for which Ral was infinitely grateful. He was honestly feeling so many unexpected things at that moment he didn't think he could add anything else on top of it.

As they approached, the woman opened her eyes and Ral found them eerily bright, like she was already channeling some magical force. He could still tell when she focused on him, and he had to fight the urge to fidget. It was almost like she was looking straight through him to his soul. Considering the Orzhov, perhaps she was. 

"Is this him?" she asked. Clearly the question was directed at Tomik, but her attention didn't waver from Ral.

Ral felt Tomik squeeze his hand. "Yes, Emanance."

"Bring him to me," she beckoned Ral froward. "Be seated in the circle."

Ral stepped cautiously into the glowing light and dropped to a seated position. He had expected Tomik to follow, and looked back, confused when he didn't immediately seat himself next to Ral. "Tomik?"

Taking a deep breath Tomik bit his lip, shifting his weight from foot to foot, offering another of those slightly uncertain smiles.

"Tomik?" Ral asked again, more intently. "You're staying… right?"

Tomik had an honestly pained look in his eyes Ral didn't understand. "If you want me to, then of course, but… I know this is… personal, for you… I didn’t want to presume… I wouldn't want to intrude on that. I'm more than-"

Ral grabbed Tomik's hand, yanking him down to sit next to him. He didn't say anything right away, just squeezed Tomik's hand. After a short moment and a deep breath Ral finally felt like he could speak without his voice cracking. "Of course I want you to stay," he said. His voice  _ was _ steady, but he couldn't make eye contact. "You think I could do this alone? Idiot," he muttered under his breath. From the corner of his eye he caught Tomik's soft smile, and it eased his heart that little bit more.

The woman cleared her throat, holding both hands out to Ral, palms up. She didn't say anything.

"Uhh…" Ral glanced down at her hands.

The woman made an impatient gesture, her eyes flicking down to his hands. Ral didn't move, not sure what she wanted.

"She needs information," Tomik supplied softly. 

"Information?" He asked, glancing over at Tomik.

Tomik nodded. "To make the connection. It’s necessary to find the correct soul. We're lucky; you're her son. Usually we'd have to find something precious that belonged to her, or… was a part of her," Tomik grimaced at that, and Ral emphatically did  _ not _ want to push for more information on that front.

"Right," he breathed out slowly, then looked back to the old woman still holding her hands out. Ral let go of Tomik, and cautiously placed his hands in hers.

She closed her eyes rocking back ever so slightly. "I see a young woman: long dark hair and pale green eyes. A dancing flame that was never quite smothered, though dimmed beyond seeing by all but a few."

Ral swallowed, but nodded when the woman looked at him for confirmation. That was his mother. Married young to a man who didn't appreciate her, and with a child she'd never meant to have. Ral would have understood if she had treated him coldly, like so many of the other mothers in their neighborhood had treated their unwanted children. But Ral had never felt unwanted, he'd never felt unloved. His mother had sacrificed everything to give him whatever chance of success she could. She had been the only person in his life who cared about him, who believed in him. Without her…

Ral took a deep, shaky breath and recomposed himself. He wasn't going to have a breakdown in front of some ancient Orzhov… whatever this woman was.

The soft humming of the circle began to slowly increase in pitch and volume and Ral's eyes widened. He wasn't sure what he expected but… well honestly he didn't have any expectations. The circle flared brightly and the humming reached a near deafening level. Uncertainty made him glance at Tomik who, for his part, looked wholly unconcerned. Ral supposed that meant this way normal? Then the woman's eyes flashed bright and Ral realized that was because she had finally opened them, light now flooding forth from within her. When she spoke her voice buzzed, almost like the way his did when he was harnessing excessive amounts of lightning.

"I have formed a connection to the spiritual realm." Ral raised an eyebrow but the woman took no note of him, still holding his hands in hers. "The soul you seek…" somehow the humming got even louder until Ral was wincing. Then all at once a bright flash lit the room and the humming stopped. Ral blinked just in time to see a small cloud of smoke rise up out of the floor. He blinked again only to realize the smoke had a shape… and a face.

Ral felt his throat close and he reached quickly to the side, gripping Tomik's hand tightly. He didn't even notice the Orzhov matron slip off to the side.

The hazy figure blinked, looking around at the darkness beyond the circle. "What…" then she held up her hands, apparently noticing their translucency as her eyes went wide. "What's…"

"Mom…" he finally forced out through the lump in his throat.

She blinked again and then looked down at him. There were no bandages, no scars or burns or any of the horrific injuries she'd lived with for the last two years of her life. There was also no recognition. "Who…?"

Ral opened his mouth but found his throat had gone completely dry; he only managed a small, pained sound before snapping his jaw shut and looking away. Of course she didn't recognize him; the son she'd left behind had been 14, not the fully grown man before her now. Ral's mind reeled out of control, full of thoughts of remorse and the overwhelming sense that this was all a terrible idea. Then he felt Tomik's hand tighten on his, and Ral closed his eyes, taking a deep breath. Slowly he reopened them, and tried again. "It’s me, mom… it’s Ral, I…" Ral stumbled over his words, and once again focused on the feeling of Tomiks hand… he absolutely could not have done this if Tomik hadn't stayed. "I grew up," he added softly, a trace of pain in his voice. 

"Ral?" She asked, her own voice quavering. "Is that really you?"

Finally looking up he saw her hands covering her mouth, her eyes faintly wispy. He didn't think ghosts could cry, but he was pretty sure this was what it would look like if one did. Ral nodded. "Yeah, I uh…" he rubbed a thumb under his eyes realizing he was a little misty himself. Ral took another slow breath his eyes falling again. "I just, um… I did it, mom," he said quietly, so quiet it was almost a whisper. "I got out of there. I live here now, in the Tenth, I… I'm the Izzet Guildmaster," he heard a gasp but didn't look up. If he saw her face, he wouldn't be able to continue. And something in him needed to continue. "Niv-Mizzet picked me,  _ me _ , to relieve him, Izzet’s first new guild leader in 10,000 years." Ral smirked, though he knew it didn't have his usual flair. He didn’t care. "I made it," he said again.

"Are you happy?" He heard his mother's soft voice ask him.

Ral's eyes snapped up to blink at her. "I… I'm the Izzet Guildmaster," he repeated.

She smiled in that gentle way she always had whenever she was cutting through his bullshit. "Yes, but are you happy?"

Ral swallowed again, but then glanced to Tomik who was giving him the most supportive smile Ral had ever witnessed. "Yes," he said, turning back to his mother's ghost. "I am." Ral squeezed Tomik's hand. "This is…" he trailed off meeting Tomik's eyes. "This is my fiancée. We're getting married in the fall." Tomik smiled at him and Ral returned it before looking back at his mother. "I'm very happy."

His mother took a shaky breath of her own, and wiped her hand under her eyes. It was out of habit he supposed, as there was no breath to take nor actual tears there to wipe away. "Then so am I." She floated down, hovering in front of Tomik. "And what's your name?"

"Tomik, ma'am." He swallowed a little nervously, and this time Ral squeezed his hand. It occurred to him Tomik had probably never expected to meet Ral's mother, or any member of his family for that matter.

"And you're taking good care of my baby?"

He smiled a little meekly, adjusting his glasses. "I try to."

Ral watched his mother's face light up with a little laugh. "Yes, he can be difficult, can't he?"

"Yes, ma'am," Tomik agreed, nodding with a soft smile of his own. "But I love him very much." Ral felt Tomik's grip tighten on his hand. "And… I'll always strive to make him happy."

She appraised him for a long moment, a thoughtful smile on her lips. "But tell me," she started in a soft, quiet voice. "Do you like the rain?"

Ral felt his throat close and his chest tightened painfully. It had always been their ritual, to sit together and listen to the rain. Even when he was little, before either of them realized he was the one calling it. When she died, he’d thought he would never have another person to share that with.

Tomik nodded, wiping under his own eyes and took a moment to compose himself before he nodded again. "Yes ma'am, I rather do," he said in a choked voice.

His mother got that wispy look again but shook it off with a watery laugh. "You know, quite frustrating being a ghost, as I think I'd rather like to hug you now."

Tomik look up for the first time meeting her eyes. "I know the feeling ma'am."

"Oh look at him," she said to Ral. "So formal. I doubt I've ever been called ma'am a day in my life and here he is doing it every five seconds." She took a breath, or at least mimicked the motion of it. "I think you found yourself a good one. And so handsome too... Oh Ral," she floated over to him reaching out with both hands but stopped just short of touching his face. "I'm so proud of you. I knew you would do it, I knew you were meant for so much more than factory work, and just look at you now. Guildmaster, my own little boy. And with a real gentleman at your side.” She smiled gently. “It couldn’t have been easy... I wish I could have been there.”

Ral smiled painfully, reaching out himself. His hand hovered just over her cheek. Closing his eyes he drew his fingers into a fist and let it fall beside him. "I'm sorry mom," Ral whispered, the words coming out soft and fragile, so quiet he half hoped he wouldn’t be heard.

She made a sound like a sigh, and Ral risked opening his eyes. Her face was kind, understanding. "Oh sweetheart, that’s not what I meant.”

“But you could have been!” he shouted, surprising even himself. The words erupted from him before he’d even formed the intention to speak. “You could have been there,” he said again, this time quieter. “If I had just-”

“It wasn't your fault," she cut in. His back went stiff and his eyes focused pointedly on the ground. Her words were soft but her tone left no room for debate. Or at least it shouldn’t have.

Ral hadn’t always been the best at minding.

"I  _ should _ have been there," he choked out. He never thought he'd have this conversation, never thought he  _ could _ have it, and now that he was having it, he was woefully unprepared for it, but the words kept coming. "I was eleven, old enough to work. If I’d been there I would have seen something was wrong with the machine. Your accident, I should have-" 

"Hush," she said affectionately. The span of a heartbeat passed and he saw the translucent wisps of his mother's hand beckoning him to look up at her. It must have bothered her, not being able to lift his chin like she would have if she was tangible.

"Ral,” she continued, “I’ve always known how smart you are. I know your gift for machines, but it doesn’t change one bit how glad I am that you never set foot in that horrible place. It’s because you’re so clever I know you would have tried to help... and you’d have put yourself in danger doing it.” Her eyes drifted to the side. “Seeing all those children, children who should have been learning, should have been playing, seeing what that place did to them... No.” She shook her head. “I worked there so  _ you _ could be different. You were always meant for so much more than that life."

"You couldn't know that," Ral insisted. "Everything I've done I could have just stumbled into by sheer-"

"And don't you go talking about luck, luck had nothing to do with it. You used talent, and I kind of think you know that, or you never would have done all the things you just told me about."

Ral chuckled and rubbed his eyes again, shaking his head. She never had let him doubt himself; probably why he so rarely did. He still felt it, the feeling he should have been in that factory, should have been there for her, not in some fancy school that didn't even want him to begin with. It was there, in his core, in his bones and he doubted it would ever fully go away but… it was lesser now. Even if only just a little, knowing his mom had never blamed him.

"The spiritual contract is concluding," a harsh voice cut through the room. Ral straightened, back going rigid. He'd completely forgotten there had been another presence. His heart raced—he wasn't  _ done _ yet, there was still so much more to say, more to…

"A few more minutes please, Emanance," came Tomik's soft voice beside him.

She looked down her nose at them and sniffed. "Extending the contract is no easy task, it will require-"

"I'm aware," Tomik cut in. Ral didn't look at either of them, he couldn't, he didn't know what Tomik was agreeing to but knowing Orzhov it was probably no small thing, and all for…

"Very well," the woman acquiesced. "But only a few more, extending it any further would be quite impossible."

"Thank you, ma'am." Ral caught Tomik's slight bow from the corner of his eye and squeezed his hand in silent thanks.

"Well then," his mother's voice cut the tension. Again Ral found himself grateful to be surrounded by people who understood him. "Looks like you and me are about out of time." He saw her ghostly hands frame his face and squeezed his eyes shut desperate to stave off the roiling inside his chest. He felt Tomik squeeze his hand tightly two times and realized he'd balled both hands into fists and was probably crushing Tomik's fingers. He quickly relaxed his grip.

Ral nodded, and forced himself to look up at his mother. It was the last time he was going to see her. A crushing weight bore down on him, it was suffocating, but he struggled through it. All Ral could think about was the last time he'd had that thought… when his mother lay on her deathbed, covered in bandages… barely struggling to breathe, and Ral hadn’t been able to say anything that mattered. How she’d slipped away right in front of him, how he’d run, that hopeless feeling he'd felt… knowing he was alone. Now here he was again, finally able to tell her that he’d done everything she'd dreamed for him, that he’d made it, just like she'd always said he would. But it wasn't enough. And they were out of time.

He wiped his eyes and nodded. "Yeah," he forced, "seems that way." He couldn't manage any more. All the things he'd wanted to say, everything he wanted to tell her died in his throat. Not that it mattered, he wouldn't have enough time to share a lifetime with her anyway.

"It's enough," she said, and smiled softly. Gods how he'd missed that smile and her innate ability to read him. "Its enough," she said again. "I already know." Her hand hovered over his cheek.

Ral started to speak but his words choked off. After forcing a breath he finally managed a soft, "How?"

And there it was again, that same smile. "Because I  _ know _ you," she laughed, a fond little chuckle. "You're my little boy. Always tinkering with everything, trying to make our lives just a little bit better, always trying to help out where you can but with your head off in the clouds. And look at you now. Izzet Guild Master. I may not be as smart as you but I know a thing or two about how the world works." Ral couldn't help the soft chuckle at that. That was his mother, always cutting through his crap. "That couldn't have been an easy road," she continued. "You've been hurt, you've failed, and I know that because no one achieves greatness like that without paying the price, so it's okay. You don't have to say it, I already know."

Ral took a shaky breath, and noticed movement, the old woman made a gesture at Tomik who squeezed Ral's hand. "Ral-"

"I know," he said quickly, letting out a breath. "I… I love you mom. And you don't have to worry about me." Ral swallowed thickly. "I made it." Something old and jagged, something he'd buried long ago, deep inside himself—under layers of wit and ego—finally loosened and tugged free.

He saw her smile one last time as her form begin to fade. "I love you too Ral, and I always knew you would." Her voice was even softer, fading away into a whisper and Ral took a shaky breath as his mother's ghost thinned and vanished. He didn't move, even long after the last remnants of his mother's form where gone. He could feel the wetness on his cheeks and there was a significant part of him that wanted to run and hide… but he didn't. He stayed, seated there on the ground, in the light of the dimly lit circle and let the tracks run down his cheeks. He was vaguely aware of movement, and he heard Tomik's voice but he didn't register what he was saying. He wasn't talking to Ral anyway. A moment later the old woman got up and left the room. Ral would have smiled if he had any emotional reserves left. There he went, always taking care of him.

Tomik shifted, Ral caught the movement from the corner of his eye. Then he felt a hand on his cheek, a thumb brushing under his eye. Tomik didn't say anything, for which Ral was grateful, he just smiled in that soft way he had that let Ral know everything was going to be alright. 

Staring into those gentle hazel eyes Ral took one last unsteady breath before collapsing into Tomik's arms. He felt Tomik wrap around him, holding him close, as Ral leaned into him, burying his face in the soft fabric over Tomik’s shoulder. He was here… he had made it… and he was loved.


End file.
